LYN’S SILENT FEELINGS FINAL EPISODE,
I Took two days to recollect myself and finally, on one quiet evening I decided to go visit Jack. I packed some few cloths of mine and boarded off to Mityana where he stayed. I reached at around 7:30 pm and found no one home. I decided to call him but he didn’t pick. I stayed there, waiting. He returned at 9: 30 pm, dressed in a kanzu.
He was surprised to see me. I expected him to turn his back against me, but he didn’t. He smiled upon seeing me, and we hugged. “come in, what brought you here so late?’ he had never asked me this question, but I swallowed it in.
I told him that I wanted to talk to him. ” are you from a function?’ I asked… “yeah”… I looked onto the ground, tried figuring out where I would begin from but all in vain. I remained tongue tied. “Lynn” ” yes”… “are you fine?’…… maybe this was the right moment for me to admit to him what I had done behind his back. ” Jack, I… I’m…I want to get married to you.” he remained silent for what seemed like eternity.
He seemed to be searching for his voice, and perhaps find the right words for me. All in all, I expected him to be positive towards me. ” Lynn, I loved you, and I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.” He paused upon the sudden surprise on my face. He was talking in past tense…” and then…you no longer love me? You no longer want to spend the rest of your life with me?’ ” that’s not what I mean dear… but its just too late for us now…I never told you, but the reason I wanted us to get married so soon was because I’m about to get a job in the states. But it requires me to be married…they needed me in three weeks, and just couldn’t wait for you…” I raised my eyes towards him, trying to get him right, trying to get every single bit of what he tried to mean. ” and so, what have u done? and why didn’t you tell me that before?’
Because I knew you were my girl friend, and you couldn’t resist me… I’m just from visiting someones parents today, my high school crush… It was hard for me… but I had to do it… Introduction is tomorrow, and wedding on Sunday. Then Monday we shall be leaving the country.” “okay” I said, and got up…”congs”… ” Lynn, am really sorry, it was my fault that I couldn’t wait for long, and yet I couldn’t force you…” I knew deep inside my heart I was paying for what I had done, the whole world had turned against me, I had no where to go, and no where to start from.
I decided to move back home, and found Gerald shifting. He saw me but never spoke a word. He was running away from me…I got into my house, but it wasn’t comforting enough for me. I moved out and walked down the street, arms folded around my shoulders. I hated this silent feeling, the silent feeling that had made me rush to sleep with a guy whom I knew nothing about…the silent feeling that had made me to be used and dumped…. this silent weird strange feeling that had turned me against the man who had truly loved me…I blamed myself for everything. What was life now? my lust had costed me hell…I continued moving, silently, as the thoughts kept flooding in my head…I didn’t know where I was going, and yet I could not turn back to where I was coming from. it was all scary…the past I was walking away from…a little thought of it made me shiver a little bit, it was all over…it was all the end of me now.
Cyclone Times ©2018
Story credits LYNN LYNN
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